


Let's Talk

by aceschwarz222



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Coming Out, Dad Bucky Barnes, Fluff and Angst, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Pride, Protective Bucky Barnes, Steve Rogers Feels, Transgender, Transitioning, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 05:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11155005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aceschwarz222/pseuds/aceschwarz222
Summary: Jamie Barnes begins making small changes to her appearance. First it’s her hair, then her name, and then her clothes. As Bucky watches his daughter change before his very eyes, he can’t help but feel like there is something more going on…





	Let's Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Since it’s Pride month, I really wanted to write something for it! Some of this comes from my own experience, but if I offend anyone with phrasing, etc. please let me know. As always, thanks for reading!

When his daughter chopped almost all of her hair off, Bucky barely blinked. He smiled from his seat next to hers at the hairdresser’s as she ogled her new locks. He couldn’t help but notice how much she looked like him. Her newly-short brown hair waved in just the right places, and he felt like he was looking back in time.

“Now you just need a metal arm,” he joked, waving his left arm in her face. “Then you’ll really look like me.”

Jamie just giggled and continued to admire herself in the mirror.

When she asked him to start calling her “Jay”, Bucky barely put up resistance.

“What’s wrong with Jamie?” he asked as he took a bite out of his pizza.

“Nothing,” she replied. “I just want a nickname.”

“Okay, Jay,” he replied, giving her a wide grin. He made sure to text everyone on the team to let them know about her new name.

When she began borrowing clothes from his closet, he thought nothing of it. At first, she just needed to borrow a shirt here or there because she “forgot to do laundry”. Then, when they went shopping for new school clothes, she went straight for the men’s section.

“Honey, why are you looking over here?” he asked as she flipped through different shirts.

“These shirts are cooler,” she replied. She looked up and saw his curious gaze. Gulping, she pushed the clothes back on the rack and walked over to the women’s section. “Never mind, there’s nothing here,” she said, a hint of sadness in her voice. They didn’t buy any clothes that day.

When she talked to Bucky about joining the boy’s soccer team at school, he could no longer ignore the pit slowly growing in his stomach.

“Isn’t there a girl’s team?” he asked.

“Well, yeah,” Jay admitted. “But all my friends are on the boy’s team.”

Bucky stared at Jay as if the answer should have been obvious. “But you’re a girl,” he said slowly.

Jay’s expression fell. “Yeah,” she replied. “I guess I am.” She took her backpack and headed into her room, closing the discussion.

Two days later, Bucky heard Jay and Nat talking in the common room of the Avengers Tower.

“So,” Nat said, “new hair, new name, new style. Seems like a lot of change.”

“I guess,” Jay shrugged. Nat stared at her intently, but Jay refused to meet her eyes. Nat had a way of reading people’s souls, and Jay wasn’t sure she wanted anyone reading too much into hers.

“It’s okay to experiment and try things,” Nat reassured her.

“What if…” Jay trailed off. Nat looked at her expectantly. “Um, nevermind,” Jay said, shaking her head.

Nat hummed thoughtfully. “That’s not your color,” she said suddenly.

Jay looked down at Bucky’s old, black t-shirt. “It’s not?”

Nat shook her head. “Nope. Try stealing your dad’s red henley. That would look great with your hair.” She nodded and smiled. “Or,” she gently suggested, “you could buy some men’s shirts of your own.”

Jay opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no words came out. “I’ve gotta go,” she said, bolting out of the living room. She rushed past Bucky without even seeing him. He heard Nat sigh from the couch, and he released one of his own as he gently banged his head against the wall.

Steve, Bucky, and Jay went out for Sunday brunch two weeks later. Jay was still sporting her new hairstyle and had even managed to borrow Bucky’s famed red henley. She caught up with her uncle until the waitress came over to their table.

“I’ll have the western omelette, please,” she said, as the waitress took down her order.

“I’ll have the same,” Bucky announced when it was his turn.

The waitress chuckled. “Like father, like son, huh?”

Bucky expected Jay to correct the waitress. Tell her it was a mistake, and that she was a girl. But she didn’t. In fact, her smile seemed to get a bit brighter at the idea of being called his son.

Steve eyed Bucky’s clenched jaw, and gently squeezed his knee under the table. Bucky took a deep breath and forced a smile through the rest of the meal.

When it came time to pay the bill, the waitress was there waiting. “I hope you boys have a wonderful day!” she called after them as they left the diner.

Bucky tried to contain his emotions, he really did. But when Jay started talking to Steve about the football game that would be on tomorrow night, he couldn’t stop himself.

“You didn’t correct her,” he interrupted.

Jay’s smile only faltered for a moment before she composed herself. “What?” she asked.

“When the waitress called you my son, you didn’t correct her.”

“Bucky…” Steve warned.

“I didn’t notice,” Jay said quickly, stuffing her hands in the pockets of her gym shorts.

“Once, I might believe you,” Bucky retorted. “But she did it twice.” He walked in front of her, blocking her path, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. Bucky could almost hear her heart pounding out of her chest as he felt his own sinking further and further into his stomach.

“Say goodbye to Uncle Steve,” he said cooly. “We’re going home.” With that, he spun around on his heels and stalked his way back to their apartment.

Jay’s breaths came out in shuddering spurts as she tried to hold it together. Steve wrapped her up in a hug, and she cried in his embrace.

“You have to talk to him, kiddo,” Steve whispered.

Jay pulled back and shook her head violently. “I c-c-can’t,” she gasped. “He’ll ha-hate me.”

Steve’s heart broke as he watched his niece fall apart in front of him. He wiped away her tears and kissed the top of her head. “Go back to the Tower with Aunt Nat, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine.” Without waiting for a response, he bolted after Bucky. He finally caught up with him right outside of his apartment building.

“Bucky!” he yelled.

Bucky whirled around and glared at his best friend. “What?” he snarled.

“What the hell are you doing, Buck? That’s your daughter.”

“My daughter?” Bucky scoffed. “I’m not sure what you just missed, but based off of what happened at breakfast, it sure as hell she seems like she’d rather be my son.”

Steve stared at Bucky with his mouth gaped open in shock. Bucky’s breath caught as he realized what he just said. His chin trembled as he looked around wildly.

“She’s at the Tower,” Steve said. “I told her to go to the Tower.”

Bucky’s legs nearly gave out in relief. “I didn’t…I didn’t mean…oh god, what’s wrong with me, Stevie?” He sat down on the stone stairs and covered his face with his hands. Steve sat down next to him and gently rubbed his shoulder.

“Has she said anything to you?” Bucky finally sniffed, looking up at Steve.

“A little,” he admitted.

“And Nat?”

“And Nat,” Steve confirmed. Bucky shook his head and let out a half-laugh as he gently hit his hand against the stairs. “Buck, she just needed to talk it out first.”

“So, what, she couldn’t come to me? Her own father?” Steve fell silent, and Bucky looked down at his hands. “Hell, I wouldn’t come to me,” he said softly.

“She was afraid of how you’d react.”

“React?” Bucky laughed dryly. “I don’t know how the hell to react! How do you react to this?”

“You tell your kid you love them no matter what, and that everything will be okay,” Steve said firmly.

“I’m scared,” Bucky whispered. “When we were kids, this stuff didn’t happen.”

“It’s not the 30s anymore, Buck. Things are different. What we know about gender and sexuality is different.”

Bucky nodded silently, trying to process everything. He was being selfish, and he knew it. The pain and confusion he was going through was probably nothing compared to what Jay was going through. “I’ve gotta talk to her!” he exclaimed, jumping up.

Bucky barely remembered how he got to the Tower, but he got there in record time. His heart thumped wildly in his chest as he walked into the common room. Jay sat on the big, leather couch next to Nat.

“Jay?” he called, his voice cracking. Her head turned and she met her father’s eyes. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, and he could make out faint tear tracks down her cheeks. His heart broke over the idea that he had caused that. Bucky swallowed as Jay slowly walked away from the couch and towards him. She picked up speed, and before Bucky knew it, she jumped into his embrace.

“Dad-dy, I’m so-sorry I didn’t tell the…tell the,” Jay rambled as Bucky pulled her closer.

“Shh, I’m not mad. I shouldn’t have said those things.” Bucky pulled back and cupped Jay’s cheeks in his hands. “I love you so much. So, so much. Nothing you do will ever change that, you hear me? Nothing.”

“Promise?” Jay whispered.

“I promise, Jay. I promise.” He pulled her close again, and she let the rhythmic beating of his heart calm her down.

“Daddy?” Jay finally asked.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“I…I need to talk to you.”

Bucky gulped and looked over Jay’s head to Steve and Nat. They both nodded at him encouragingly, and he nodded back. He looked down and met his son’s eyes for the first time.

“Okay, Jay. Let’s talk.”


End file.
